It’s not everyday you have the opportunity to throw on some 80’s gear and crush a workout. Thanks to SwinglineCF I was recently given the chance. After drinking my face off for 3 days in San Francisco I jumped at the opportunity to push myself to the brink of puking. Ya, sounds fun, doesn’t it. Swingline was able to get 303 Magazine’s Miss BeFit to attend to show her what this whole CrossFit thing was about. I will say there’s nothing more exhilarating than running down the street in 40 degree weather in short shorts with your mullet flapping in the wind and your fellow athletes rocking leg warmers and wristbands/headbands on a Tuesday afternoon at 2pm. I’m pretty sure all the people driving by on their way to/from work were a bit confused since Halloween isn’t for another couple of days. Haha…classic!
I’m glad Miss BeFit was able to join us and will hopefully be back to crush her time in a couple of months!
Check out the article at: Miss BeFit: CrossFit LoDo
303 Magazine Helen WOD
Not trying to get political at all, this is just hilarious and true! Wonder if this made it up to the White House?!
It’s on at red rocks.
So, the Nugget challenge is in the books! If you want to see the rules prior to the madness Tom lays them down in this video.
The contest started off with Sergio coming out of the gates swinging! Homeboy downed 30 nuggets in 8 minutes!!!! Even with that kind of pace, Tom held strong with his claim he was still going to win. Ashley kept a fast pace and crushed the girls division of 20 nuggets! Even if there were other girls in the competition, I think she would’ve come out on top. Hell, the girl opened her beer can for the shotgun with her teeth! I’m not joking, it was amazing, and kind of a turn on, not going to lie!
Needless to say, the sexy brazilian kept a steady pace and came out on top. It was amazing trying to see Sergio try to beat him with the final box of nuggets and almost puke twice just by taking the first bite of the nugget. And to add insult to injury, Tom kept going. He finished another handful of nuggets before the show and by night’s end had devoured upwards of 78 nuggets. Most people would’ve been in the hospital, but this guy can crush food!
As many of you may be wondering, what were the after effects of this stupid contest? Well, I for one have never felt so drunk in my life, even though I had only consumed 1 beer and 2 shots. There’s something about fried food in this quantity that made me dizzy and I was even slurring my words. I have no explanation, except that my body was maybe going into shock from the amount of pure sh!t I just put in my body. And speaking of sh!t….that was not normal for a while. According to Tom, it has never been so normal before! I got to the point where I had to purchase some ex lax while I was on vacation in Vegas. Too much info??? I don’t care, be warned. And be careful with ex lax! I thought after it not working 6 hours after ingestion that I was out of luck. That is until I was violently woken up at 2am and maybe had 10 seconds to get to the bano! Thank god for Words with Friends to take my mind off of my legs going numb from sitting on the can for upwards of 30 minutes. Mind and body were free and clear after that!
Thank God this is done and I will never have to do it again.
So not sure what prompted it, but I have decided recently that I want to turn every word into a verb. Not sure what I’m talking about…well let’s take a look at last Saturday. After a standard night on the town closing down Blake Street Tavern and then on my roof with some Marquis Pizza, the crew decided to retire in order to rest up for another great Saturday!
As we were breakfasting, we saw a commercial for a DQ Blizzard. Suddenly all the sleepy eyes on the couch perked up and we out the door. “Wouldn’t it be a great day for some Blizzarding!” Hell ya! Apparently it was my first time at the drive through as I pulled up directly to the window and was welcomed with a blank stare from the employee who politely asked, “is this your first time here?” It took a minute to realize I missed the big menu and speaker. Whatever! We backed up, ordered, pulled back up and I thanked the girl for popping my DQ cherry and telling me how this fast food/dessert ordering system works. Sensing her sarcasm and my ability to make a scene I decided to drive back into line where I was greeted with a “are you harassing me?” from the attendant. Of course we were, but all I wanted was a lid and water. Thank God Tom and Christina were in the same mood since we probably spent a total of 9.6 minutes talking to the girl in the drive through window before she told us we HAD to leave!
Next up we had to head to the gym to get it ready for the next day’s competition. As I was cleaning, oh what did I find, a bottle of Vodka. So we decided to do a little vodkaing as we were removing tape from the floor. As you can imagine, untaping is a pretty exciting adventure, so the vodkaing added a little excitement to the afternoon.
After all this blizzarding and vodkaing we needed some food. Tom, Christina, and I decided a little sushiing would suffice. We headed to iFish to get a patio seat. I think Tom and I said hi/talked to everyone that passed by. Nothing like the unexpecting hello from a patron enjoying a meal as you walk by. Definitely makes for some fun awkward moments! PS their sushi salsa is awesome! Our server “T-Dog” hooked us up with a bottle each to take home and I’ve used it on everything from eggs to salad to steak. BOOM SOUCE!*
And as always, this epic saturday had to come to an end. Well, at least we had to put in a couple of hours of work before we were back at it. Oh wait, the day’s not over? Tom meets me at Marg’s after some real estating for some marging and it turns out we are heading to Hayters for a CrossFit party. Apparently Verve and Front Range meet up once a month to let loose. Not only can these kids throw down in the gym, but they can crush it on the dance floor as well. Even though, to the average person we had already had too much to drink, we decided to get more…because we CrossFit..duh! As Tom turns to me and says, “PBR is on special, I’m getting 5! You get the next round of 5!” I knew this was going to end badly. I don’t apologize for partying, so if anyone got upset at the sexy brazilian and myself, well, too bad! At some point during this part of the night I left planet earth for..well…I don’t know. Not to proud of it, but I’m also not to proud to beg (TLC What up!). Since we are one of the newer gyms in town, it was great to meet some other people in the CrossFit community. But, I’m sorry to say if the LoDo crew was there, the dance off may have had an undisputed champ! Just sayin! Is that a challenge, who knows…we will see! Another day of epic proportions and another night of barefoot sunglass dancing in the books.
I’m sure starting tonight off with a 50 nugget challenge as our pregame for Snowboard on the Rocks may bring some interesting stories! Stay tuned!
*Boom souce citation – from Tom Ashby – Souce Bouse!
“pretty sure he’s not in the same grade as you.”
“What’s fire? So it’s like eating a human?”
“Can you see my tears?”
“Do you remeber when boys to men were just boys to boys?”
“How do you fall returning a B-Cycle?”
The decision was made late on Sunday night to turn this labor day into the best, most epic, labor day of all time. Hence a bike pub crawl was created. 10 bars…15 tasks…1 day! Oh ya, and 2 go pro cameras to document the debautchery! The goal was to head from Downtown Denver to the Wash Park area via Broadway, then back downtown through Cap Hill and Uptown. And just like life, you shouldn’t plan anything except the next few moments.
The day started off at Blake Street Tavern, our local watering hole, with Tom, Katie Mac, Kevin, Jessie and myself, a wolfpack of 5 if you will. We spent the time downing a beer explaning the events of the day and wondering what state of conciousness we would be in 5 hours from now! Stop 2 was supposed to be the rio for a tasty marg! Labor Day = closed Rio = bush league. But all worked out as Katie Mac convinced 3 fireman to plank with her in front of the rio with a shiny ax. Girl was off to an early start! Kevin, thanks for explaning how fire makes air and air makes wood and wood makes fire into wood….and why I thought it was like a human eating a human! Ya, it was only drink #2 at that point.
At this point, I got a text from Ryan to find out where we were and if we were going to B2M. Call me Susan, but I had no clue what he was talking about. It must have slipped my 30 something mind that Boys to Men were playing at the Taste of Colorado. Much to my chagrin, our plans were changing. Heading down to the Hornet, we were making a quick stop for a beer, then to Gov’s park for a bite (much needed) and then to see Men to Senior Citizens. Unfortunately, the Taste of Colorado attracts anyone who has never been downtown, hence we couldn’t get anywhere near the stage and decided to hightail it to Marg’s taco bistro. At this point our crew had grown from 5 to 11. After a couple drinks at Marg’s the Pterodactyl came out. Unfortunately, Leslie became the victim of many attacks. If you don’t know what pterodactyling is, you may get an idea from the picture below.
The group decided the last stop of the night was going to be 1 Up for some photo boothing, 40’s, jenga, and street fighter. The beers were purchased, 40’s cracked, dollars ready, and the photo booth broken! So, with all the beer in hand we headed to the Jenga table which if you’ve ever played life sized Jenga in the dark after a day of drinking, you may know where this is headed. I think the people in tables around us couldn’t figure out how we kept losing right after we had just set up the table. Either way, games were played, games were won, games were lost, and libations were consumed. After someone pointed out that it was actually 9pm on a Monday night, the group decided to split as the 4 letter word “work” circled many conversaions. Can’t wait to do it again next year! Thank you ‘Merica!
This just went out to the masses! Let’s see who shows up and what occurs. Videos/Pics/stories/obituaries will be posted asap!
Important information in last paragraph!
Friends, Romans, and Countrymen, lend us your ears!
Tomorrow marks 4 score and seven years ago, we the people decided labor day in the year of 2011 shall henceforth whereto herein shall be referred to as Epic Day. Starting at noon o’clock tomorrow from the Lodinian gym, we will be starting our quest to conquer Denver and it’s libations.
Ok, for the reals, we are doing a BICYCLE pub crawl leaving LoDo at noon. Race course and schedule of events will be made available upon your arrival. Your attendance is mandatory, but please RSVP to let us know you will be there, so we don’t leave your tardy ass behind.
I can only send this message to 20 people, so please send this onto any friends/family/siblings/unknown children/”the help” that may want to partake. Please have them reply to me/add me as a friend/then reply to me so we can figure out details.
See you tomorrow you silly laborers!
PS – Dress Code – cute summer fun casual
PPS – We are going streaking through the quad to the gymnasium
PPPS – A complete video production of our Epic Day tomorrow will be completed by September 11th.
PPPPS – God Bless America…..The working class…..and Nick Jonas
While at 1 Up the other night, a good friend that goes by the alias “Sergio” presented us with an interesting game. 1 must finish a full beer in a photo booth before all 4 photos are taken. Needless to say he did not have to do much else to convince us this was an amazing idea. Such an amazing idea that I think we did 3 rounds of this game in less than 30 minutes followed by slamming 40s. Needless to say we didn’t need another drink the rest of the night. I highly suggest this game at any point where you find yourself near a photo booth. Epic faces!